The idea and practical applications of marriage barely come up in video games. Sure, there’s not much of a place for it in Angry Birds, and it theoretically might be the ultimate goal of dating sims. But what about games where you’re playing as a character or interact with NPCs who just ARE married? Sean and Vinnk (gamers who are, apparently miraculously, each respectively married with children) explore the reasons why games might actually shy away from the trapping of matrimony, and how the few games that do use it (Fable, The Sims, Alan Wake) want to milk it for emotional impact. But how "emotionally impacted" might an 8 year-old gamer feel about such subject matter — and is that right there the reason it’s a subject few developers dare to tread? And when is Mario just going to marry Princess Peach already! How many more times does she need to get kidnapped by Bowser for him to get the hint??

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Injuries in video games tend to be minor annoyances rather than the game-stopping events they should be. But wouldn’t having to heal from actual injuries be a sure way to kill gaming fun? Vinnk and Sean discuss how injury has been taken out of games with the advent of armor and shielding, and on the other side of the spectrum games that are all about healing. And somewhere in between, there’s the worst offender of the blurry line between life, death, and severe crippling injury: RPGs. Also, we give out copious amounts of Phoenix Downs.

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Hype is great… until your game comes out. Quite different from development hell, these are games that come out, but when they do they don’t quite live up to the promises made by the marketing department — and sometimes the developers themselves. Sean and Vinnk discuss the raft of hate against the Mass Effect 3 ending, the lack of ending for the Shenmue series, Peter Molyneux’s retirement from Lionhead Studios, and more. Suffice to say, it’s been an interesting year for the hype machine and its consequences.

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Could the console and PC wars have been snuffed out in the early ’80s if NES hadn’t been released? Or was Nintendo’s intervention in the market overblown? Vinnk and Sean ponder the rift between PC and console gamers, those who do both, and what kinds of games seem to be better suited to one over the other. Are the two devices on a collision course? Or is the idea of a Steam Box or other PC-based “console” nothing more than a fever dream?

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There’s something to be said for a game missing its release to make it more awesome, but after a while there’s the law of diminishing returns. Then there’s also the trap of trying to make everything SO MUCH MORE awesome than anything else out there, you keep changing things — even things that have or should be long since settled — that you enter the inferno known as “development hell” where ideas both good and bad go to eternally torment fans and developers alike. Sean and Vinnk discuss Duke Nukem, the fate of Silicon Knights and their dedication to Too Human that took them under, and how Rare going to Microsoft Studios changed the company forever.

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Kids get a bad rap in video games. Sometimes they’re beat up to pull emotional heartstrings, but mostly they’re just annoying. Is there a way for kids to be used or portrayed in games that isn’t exploitative or make you want to cause yourself bodily harm? Vinnk and Sean run down the appearances of children in games, from the NES all the way to the upcoming Mass Effect 3, across consoles and the PC. We also run down the history of unlicensed NES publisher Color Dream, and what their originally shocking games turned into.

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There are a lot of couples in video games, but is there romance? Mario and Peach, Luigi and Daisy, Link and Zelda, The Brooding Loner and the Star-crossed Japanese Flower Girl Who Loves Him, and — of course — Samus and the baby Metroid. Do any of these games do romance well, or is it just assumed? And how far is too far with player-to-NPC romance? Sean and Vinnk wonder if video games can truly ever be your Valentine as they discuss these problems, the likelihood of your characters ever finding true digital love, and the potentially unfortunate state of Princess Zelda’s armpit hair.

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Video games aren’t just about blowing up bad guys, pretending to be a secret agent, or saving galactic civilization from moon-sized cuttlefish. Sometimes they’re about everyday, ordinary things, like stock brokering! Or newspaper delivery! Or making dinner! Vinnk and Sean discuss these more “mundane” titles, and how surprisingly fun they can actually be. Haven’t you ever wanted to be a lawyer? Or start your own football league? With the power of video games, this could be you!

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