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Total Recall movie review

Total Recall movie review - A guy with three hands

Here my three hands on impression of the new Total Recall film starring Colin Farrel, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel and of course Kaitlyn Leeb as the prostitute with three boobs.

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Kate Beckinsale was almost the prostitute with three boobs in Total Recall

Kate Beckinsale with three breasts

Total Recall starring Kate Beckinsale was released today in theatres. I caught it this afternoon and thought it was great. A Q&A over at Next Movie has Kate revealing that when it originally looked like she couldn’t play the lead character of Lori in the film due to a scheduling conflict that she would have done a one day cameo as the fan favourite prostitute with three breasts!

That role eventually went to Kaitlyn Leeb who we’ve spoken about on this site a number of times. I would just like to confirm that despite a PG-13 rating we do actually see her three bare breasts in the film, though Kaitlyn herself has mentioned that all three are in fact prosthetic. She makes me wish I had three prosthetic hands!

Bonus three boob trivia: Colin Farrel’s character Douglas Quaid mentions in the film that his birthday is August 29th. This is the actual birthday of Lycia Naff, the actress who played Mary, the prostitute with three breasts in the original film! Coincidence? Probably. There are only 365 days in the year and 50 credited actors in the old film. It’s also Judgment Day…

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Actual trailer for Total Recall

Total Recall - Kate Beckinsale as Lori being bad ass

After last week’s ridiculous teaser for a trailer for Total Recall, we now have a real trailer.

The movie stars Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale and has a supporting cast which includes Bryan Cranston, Jessica Biel and John Cho. The film looks pretty neat, so at this point I won’t let my annoyance at the ridiculous marketing cloud my judgement of the movie. It looks to be very similar to the original Total Recall film, without all that Mars stuff. Will this movie be intentionally ambiguous about what is or isn’t real like the first film, or will it just tell us straight up that the whole thing is nothing but a dream? Did I mention there’s a Kate Beckinsale/Jessica Biel cat fight? Yeah…

Keep reading for a few more screenshots of the trailer.
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Underworld Awakening is a good time, but leaves us wanting more

Underworld Awakening poster of Kate Beckinsale as Selene

As a huge fan of the Underworld series of movies, I took in it’s latest instalment, Underworld Awakening, this week. I generally enjoyed this movie, and while it’s tone was a bit of a departure from the films that came before it, it still works quite well with the rest of the franchise. Kate Beckinsale seems like a vampire herself, as she is still as lovely as she was years ago when this series began.

The film takes place 12 years after Underworld Evolution, after a human cleansing of Vampires and Lycans leaves both species struggling to fight extinction. With the plot centering around fighting powerful companies, engineered creatures and general ass kicking, the movie is reminiscent of a Resident Evil film, though still unique in it’s own way.

Kate Beckinsale as Selene shooting guns in Underworld Awakening

My main complaint about the movie would be it’s length. With a total run time of only 88 minutes, and long credits that are probably about 10 of those, the film itself wraps up after about an hour and twenty minutes. With the first film weighing in at over two hours, 133 minutes for the director’s cut, this is a bit disappointing.

Keep reading for more thoughts which will include some spoilers.
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Movie Posters: Underworld: Awakening

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