Warning: the above video contains footage of Natalie Portman in a thong.

Your Highness will be released on April 8, 2011.

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Got a case of the Mondays? Well I just so happen to have a list of games being released this week to help you out with that problem. Big releases looks like Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, Donkey Kong Returns, and Marvel’s Superhero Squad and the Infinity Gauntlet. Remember, if you’d like to buy one of these delightful games, please click the links below and help us out!

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Caprica has been put permanently offline, but Conan successfully uploaded his consciousness to another network — beating both Leno AND Letterman in ratings! Not bad for cable. Also, in Cool Beans, it’s sequels galore! Rock Band 3, Fable III, Fallout: New Vegas, Halo: Reach, Starcraft II and more…

Direct Link: Powetcast 43: Castlevaniacs

Audio Netcast Details
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Show notes after the jump

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Before Final Fantasy VII, the role playing game genre just wasn’t that popular. Playing a turd like this, I can see why, as this must have been what games like Dragon Warrior and Zelda must have looked like to most gamers. Believe it or not, this was actually a very popular RPG for Japanese computer systems. It was regarded as one of the first console RPGs. However, it wasn’t bought to America until a few years later, and it’s ‘innovations’ had already been done by other games, most notably the awesome Legend of Zelda. By it’s release, not only were the graphics sub-par, the story was virtually nonexistent and the gameplay was a serious and boring pain in the ass. With stupid looking enemies, a nonsensical battle system, and boring gameplay, this early NES game would turn anyone off to the genre. For years to come, this game’s pitfalls caused mainstream gamers to sleep on quality titles such as Lufia, 7th Saga, and Final Fantasy 2 – 6, or at least that’s what I think happened. After all, who’d want to play this crap when they could be playing Double Dragon or Castlevania?
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This episode we preview E3, review Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, predict the Doctor Who finale, and thank Rue McClanahan for being a friend.

Direct Link: Powetcast 35: Chesty Jake

Audio Netcast Details
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(What have you liked from E3 so far? Are you going to get a 3DS. Did you (or anyone) even SEE the Sony presser? Leave your comments below!)

Show notes after the jump!

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Since the alphabet is the building block of our language, the Powet Alphabet is the building block of what makes us geeks.

Today is P for the Powers of Grayskull. The Powers of Grayskull was a line proposed in 1987 that would serve as a sort of prequel to MOTU as we had known it. While some of the figures made it to the prototype phase and licensing material was sent out to interested companies, nothing ever materialized as far as a full scale toy line. After the jump we’ll dig a little deeper into what was really planned for the series based on what has been found.

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Stephen Titilo and N’Gai Croal — who make up the gaming duo extraordinaire of “Kotaku and Croal” — held a fascinating panel about their “scientific” method for determining the top 10 games of all time, starting with a metacritic list, and passing it through the hands of many of the industry’s well-knowns to: 1) do nothing to the list, 2) swap two existing items in the list, or 3) replace any item with a more deserving game.

Here is the starting list:

1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
2. Super Mario Galaxy
3. Grand Theft Auto IV
4. Super Mario World
5. Metroid Prime
6. Soul Calibur
7. Orange Box
8. Uncharted 2
9. Super Metroid
10. Metal Gear Solid (Game Boy Color)

Follow us to find out where it ended up, and what you can do to continue it!

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Half Minute Hero is a tongue-in-cheek tribute to the classic titles of the 8-bit era while at the same time providing a new and frantic style of gameplay. Half Minute Hero depicts the story of the Time Goddess’s battle against an ancient evil that spans several centuries. You’ll take control of 4 heroes, each with their own style of play. Hero 30 is a role playing game in which you have 30 seconds to clear each level. You’ll have to discover hidden treasures, level up, and even perform sidequests, all within a 30 second time limit. You’ll have to visit the goddess statue to refill your time. Evil Lord 30 is a real time strategy game that places you in the role of a former villain who is out to lift the curse placed on his lover. You’ll have 30 seconds to complete each stage, and you’ll battle enemies by summoning monsters. Princess 30 is a shooter in which players take control of a princess who is out to find medicine for her sick father. You’ll have 30 seconds to make it to the other side of the screen, grab the item, then run back. In Knight and Wizard 30, players control a knight who has to guard a wizard as he casts his spell, which takes him 30 seconds. There is also a hidden 5th mode, and a multiplayer mode.

Half Minute Hero gives players something new and different, and the frantic 30 second action (along with the Time Goddess’s one liners) while have you grinning from ear to ear. It’s also an awesome parody of the 8-bit era, and it’s a must have for PSP owners. It’s too bad that it didn’t do the numbers they should have, but now that it’s at the $20 price range, it shouldn’t have much trouble finding it’s way into a few more PSP units.