Dustin Diamond, known to all as Samuel “Screech” Powers from TV’s Saved by the Bell, is no longer trying to stop his sex tape from seeing the light of day according to imdb news. Instead he will try to profit from it.

This comes as no real surprise as the whole move seems like a blatant but terribly effective publicity stunt. Diamond claims that the threesome sex tape, in which he gives a girl a dirty sanchez, was something he did as a joke 4 years ago and never intended to get released to the public. Of course we’d expect him to say that.

In an interview with US Weekly Dustin added “Let’s just say, if I were a small man, it would be worse.” suggesting that he has a good sized penis. We’ll all be able to see if what he boasts is true next month when the 40 minute video will no doubt spread across the Internet like wild fire or at the very least like an unwanted case of herpes.

This week, I’m gonna do a little something different.  Remember all those games like Robotron, Space Invaders, and Galaga where you didn’t play to see some 45 minute ending or unlock a whole bunch of stuff?  All you played them was to beat the highest score.  Well, Bizzare Creations’ Geometry Wars is just that.  You play it for the challenge, and it’s addictive.  It began life as a hidden feature of Project Gotham racing, but evolved into something more.  This update adds in flashier graphics and music, while keeping the gameplay simple.  As a ship, you try to survive as long as you can against an onslaught of enemy polygons.  The left analog stick is used for moving, while the right is used for shooting, a’l’a smash TV.  You can even play your own soundtracks while playing it.  Check it out, it’s available on the marketplace for only $5.  (400 points to be exact.)

In the late years of the PS1, Bandai released a game that, while it captures the essence of what we love about classic gaming, it also updates it with a clever twist.  You play as Jutah, a man running from the demons of his past while by attempting to save the world from a rogue warship.  It’s a top-down shooter, but instead of blasting at enemies, you plant bombs on them and detonate them.  This game play turns what would have been an average shooter into something totally different from the norm.  The setting and detonation of bombs allows for a new layer of strategy.  Also, it’s pretty fun and sadistic to plant bombs on moving targets, even if they are just robots.  When you get tired of the vs mode, there is a 2-player vs mode you can play.  This game is pretty rare, so if you manage to find a copy, do yourself a big favor and pick it up.

The official story, as propagated by the vampire controled media, is that actor Wesley Snipes is wanted for tax fraud in the amount of 12 million dollars. Snipes is still at large and should he not turn himself in he will surely be pursued by the authorities in time.

The real story is that Wesley Snipes can’t have broken the law because he doesn’t exist. Wesley Snipes is an alias of vampire Eric Brooks, known to those who fear him as “Blade” or “The Daywalker”. Eric uses the Snipes persona to hide among humans while his true purpose is to hunt vampires, the enemies of humanity.

Vampires and their familiars, uninfected humans who work for them, have infiltrated all levels of our society including the police, government and as we see here even the IRS. By fabricating these bogus charges against Snipes the world’s eyes will now be on him and the vampires will simply wait for him to be apprehended before killing Eric or even worse using him in one of their nefarious plans.

Should you see this man please don’t help our vampire oppressors by reporting his whereabouts to the police. Give him a sandwhich, a few bucks and something with 4 wheels and a tank of gas. It may be the only thing that stands between us and annihilation.

The good folks over at Overtime Comedy have posted the final installment of the Mario In Myspace series. I don’t know if its as funny as the first 2, but since I didn’t post either of those, check out all 3 after the jump.

[Read the rest of this entry…]

Mike Dreese is the cofounder of Newbury Comics. If you live in New England, you more than likely have heard of this small chain of stores, if you don’t already buy all your cds there regularly. They’ve been around for a long time and are a boon to the local music scene. In the weekly Newbury Comics Newsletter, Mike has written a statement on the recent events concerning the liquidation of Tower Records and the impending closure of the massive Virgin MegaStore at BackBay in Boston.

Newbury Comics has separated itself by not just offering competitively priced music, but also comic books, magazines, toys and much more. They have carved out a niche in a very competitive market that now includes the likes of Best Buy and Wal-mart.

Support your local music stores, kids.

www.TransformersMovie.com is running a contest to vote on a single line of fan-submitted dialog to appear in the 2007 Transformers movie, to be spoken by Autobot Leader Optimus Prime.

Proving once again you can’t trust INTER-NET to do anything, here are some highlights from the list–

• “I can’t explain the flames, they’re just cool”
• “These pretzels are making me thirsty”
• “Do a barrel roll”
• “Its clobberin’ time”
• “I’ll be back”

Regardless of what you may think, Spider-Man 2099 was kind of cool.

Being a newcomer to comic stores in the early 90s, I was all-in with the 2099 univese. Doom, Ravage, Punisher… I found a new Marvel Universe was starting up right there in 1992 and I could get in on the ground floor. I’ve got this problem with not wanting to get into a book in the middle of a story that goes on to this day (still having trouble with DC after Crisis, and Civil War scares me), but with new characters, I could know everything about them as it happened.

Spiderman 2099 was the first book to come out, and lasted the longest, well in 1996 with 46 issues. Read all about him on his Wikipedia entry. He was without a doubt the coolest of 2099, because his powers were more spider-like, and even as a lad his origins of being screwed over by corporate America resonated with me. He was truly the champion of the working man! Since getting to know Miguel O’Hara, I’ve become a lot more comfortable with generational roles in comics and other tales, and rather like the idea that there will be a Spider-Man 2099 or a Batman Beyond long after today’s heroes are gone. It further humanizes Peter Parker today to know that he won’t always be there and someday someone will take his place.

I bring all this up because ToyBiz/Marvel are about to release a new toy of him in the Spiderman Origins line. This appears to be a long awaited proper release, as ToyBiz previously made a toy of Spidey 2099, but it was a K*B Toys exclusive recolor of the “black suit” Spiderman Figure at the time. This was around December 2000, if I recall correctly, and predated a lot of the Marvel Legends we so love today. The new toy is shy on molded details, but has a lot of the movement we’ve grown accustomed to and a great paint deco.

I of course, am holding out hope for an all 2099 Marvel Legends series, but thats another one for the Marvel Legends Wishlist.