Maximum Letdown: Gi Joe vs Street Fighter vs Mortal Kombat (Action Figure Line)

This isn’t an actual game per se (although if you’re reading this Capcom, don’t let me stop you from making it), but rather it sums up one of the first North American attempts to make action figures based on Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat. These figures made use of Gi-Joe molds. In fact, the original series of Street Fighter action figures were advertised as being part of Gi-Joe, with M. Bison and his Shadowloo grandmasters being part of Cobra.

Some of the figures looked exactly like their digital counterparts, others looked kinda similar to their digital persona, and still others? Well, not so much. Each of the fighters came with a plastic tree with several swords and guns you could disattach from it. It was funny though, mainly because in all my years of enjoying and playing the franchise, I do not recall seeing any of the fighters use ether a gun or sword. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of Street Fighter characters who use any sort of weapon or firearm. Perhaps the most hilarious part of the line is Blanka. Despite the fact that he is a primitive man-beast with limited intelligence who electrocutes things, his figure comes equipped with a SPRING-LOADED GRAPPLING HOOK LAUNCHER. There is also a vehicle called the Beast Blaster which comes packed with a recolored “Championship Edition” version of Blanka, as the vehicle’s driver!

The following year, Hasbro released another line of Street Fighter action figures, these based upon the movie. ANd while they weren’t much better, at least some of the characters were more accurate. Also during that year, Hasbro introduced a line of Mortal Kombat figures, because the franchise, which was primarily known for fighters getting their spines ripped out, was also getting popular. Only in the 90s would someone market toys that were based on a game rated M to children between the ages of 6 and 13. While there was a small selection, they were closer to their digital counterparts than the Street Fighter figures, and there were some cool vehicles included in the set. Some of the figures were redone when the first movie hit theaters the following year, but after that, Hasbro stepped away from fighting games, and moved on to more Gi Joe. Too bad we couldn’t get a Fatal Fury/KOF Gi-Joe line. Think about it, Iori Yagami with a spring-loaded bazooka wearing a Kevlar vest and packaged with a shit load of plastic machine guns. I’m telling you, That would have flown off store shelves with the quickness. At the very lease we could have gotten an Ikari Blaster assault tank with packed Clark, Ralf, Heirden, and Leona figures. The Ikari team would have fit right in with the Gi-Joe line. Okay, I’m getting too ahead of myself.

Obviously, the early SF and MK lines were crap, and thankfully fighting game related collectibles have improved in quality since then. Looking back however, what kid wouldn’t want to get their hands on these? Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were so popular back then, no one cared about the quality, and to team them up with Gi-Joe? That’s a nerd’s wet dream come true. Who wouldn’t want to have Guile, Liu Kang, and Duke team up against the unholy alliance of Cobra Commander, Shang Tsung, and M. Bison.