Bill Laimbeer may have been a douchebag in the eyes of many Basketball fans, but after a few brief stints in Italy and with the Cleveland Cavs, he was a somewhat significant part of the Detroit Pistons franchise throughout the 80s and early 90s, until his 1994 retirement (his jersey number 40 was retired as well). He gained a reputation for hard physical fouls and his attempts to bait officials into calling fouls against his opponents. For what it’s worth, he is the franchise’s all-time leader in career rebounds. Still, why a developer in their right mind would make a game starring him given the dozens of more popular and established stars at the time is anyone’s guess.

BLCB takes place in the future where B-ball is more extreme thanks to our ‘hero’. In true to his douchebag style of play, Bill has fired all the referees, and now physicality is encouraged. A punch is now as legal as a pass, and all the players are in dorky sci-fi armor like they’re auditioning for a role in the next Strata/Incredible Technologies game. Oh, and there are landmines! Because you can brag about being extreme all you want, but if you ain’t got landmines, you’re FLAGGIN (that’s Memphis slang for faking)! Sadly, this is pretty much fake extreme. Although landmines only trip people up, there are no injuries. I mean, shit, why not go all the way like in the Mutant League Game and have players explode in a shower of blood and guts? You can pick money off the floor to save up and buy better players (including Laimbeer himself), but you’ll be so bored that you won’t care.

In short, BLCB stars a relatively unknown b-ball star (instead of guys such as Pippen, Jordan, Bird, Dr J, Magic, and so many others) and basically goes downhill from there. It tries to come off as extreme, but it ends up like those dorky white kids who ‘street race’ around the mall parking lot in their fathers’ KIAs after watching Fast and Furious. Worse yet, it’s like that Icy Hot Stunnaz rap act from a decade back.