1up previews the Family Guy game
Say, what are the odds this game is going to be… terrible?
The absolute best they can do is retread jokes from the show and not turn in an unplayable mess. Think I’m wrong? Try digging out some South Park and Simpsons games from a bargain bin. The Simpsons arcade game is argueably the only good game to be based on a comedy show, and it just aped the sidescrolling beat-em-up style of TMNT, Final Fight, Double Dragon et al. Do I even bother mentioning Friends?

You’ll recall we already showed you a Clerks II Teaser. Well that was the internet-only version. This is the green-band version for theaters.

Diamond Select Toys has announced that Stargate figure collectors will soon have the opportunity to redeem the UPC’s from their figures for a free ‘Elite Serpent Guard’. Also randomly inserted one into each case will be an unpainted test shot figure.

From the site:

Stargate Promos Ready to Launch!

With the first series of Stargate SG-1 action figures nearing their Spring release, DST is excited to announce plans for several promotional figures to compliment the core assortment!

By purchasing any four of our Stargate SG-1 figures, customers will be able to redeem their UPC’s for a free exclusive Elite Serpent Guard action figure featuring a repainted armor design as part of a promotional mail-in program! Now in addition to building their own figure-sized Stargate, fans will also be able to build Apophis’ army! The details surrounding how fans can get this free figure will be available inside each packaged figure.

Also available with the first wave of figures will be a series of test-shot unpainted figures! Select cases sold to retailers each contain one of these limited figures, with four different versions released: Colonel Jack O’Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson, General Jack O’Neill and a Jaffa Serpent Guard! These pre-production unpainted figures will be limited and will only be available in select cases for the specialty market, so be sure to contact your local comic book store and ask them to take advantage of this unprecedented offer!

From what I understand there are already quite a few variants for these figures as it is, so it looks like this line will be hard on the collectors out there. Good Luck!

Rented King Kong today… oh …wow… what a mistake.

This movie was just so horribly bad. Boring boring boring. Why was it so long? Why did they take so much time dwelling on such retarded things? All this crap on the boat and stuff.. and why? To set up a second love interest for this girl? It’s so boring and pointless. I just wanted to see the monkey and then after over an hour when he finally shows up I’m just so frustrated and sick of wanting him to show up that he comes way too short of the hype. Pretty lame CG. I mean… he’s kind of ugly!

And all these stupid dinosaurs and junk. They’re all so imcompetent. These things that looked like brontosauruses if Jurassic Park was a budget movie are just running in a heard and falling off cliffs and tripping over each other but there isn’t really anything going on that makes them trip that they’re not bringing upon themselves. Or Kong is smashing rocks and a big boulder falls on his head… well nothing caused by the human interaction on this island is causing this to happen. He’s just stupid. No wonder all these things are extinct in the rest of the world. And these bats… Kong sleeps in a cave with them… and then a human shows up and they all start fighting Kong who is essentially their roomate. I’m not really following here…

And what’s the fascination with white women? Okay I can get Kong ’cause that’s sort of the point of the story but all these freakin’ T-Rexes are fighting Kong for this white girl who’s maybe a buck 20 when wet. Is it that she’s on the rag and everything’s trying to screw her? I just don’t get it. I mean even when these things are falling to their deaths in this ravine and getting caught in vines rather than try to save themselves they’re fighting this buffet of an ape to nibble on the appetizer that is Naomi Watts. Do T-Rexes have a human’s appreciation for a smokin’ hot rack?

And all these important things happen in cutaways. We spend a ridiculous amount of time on the boat and then when they get to the island we don’t even see them land. They get in a raft and then they’re treking through the woods. You know that would have made a better scene than half this movie. Then they drug the ape and I’m wondering how they’re going to get this guy on the boat, transport him to the city, move him, store him, keep him contained and fed… and … they cut ahead weeks to him on broadway. What? Why can’t we just cut out the scene with the killer bugs and fighting penis plant monsters and put some interesting things in. Scenes which would have been included in an hour and a half version of such a film are omited from this 3 hour + monstrosity.

I realised I was left with far too much time to contemplate how a woman and a giant ape could have sex at some time between the ideas of urethra fisting and 2 armed snorkel assisted prostate diving. I should have been engrossed enough in this movie not to need to have my mind wander on to such things.

Peter Jackson has lost all ability to properly gage what should be put into an entertaining movie. He likes King Kong so he makes it into the only thing he knows how to do after Lord of the Rings, a majestic epic insanely long craZy movie… well it just doesn’t work! And if it could it wasn’t handled well enough to work. Are we back at the stage where people can tell Peter Jackson what to do again or does the industry still respect him too much to stop him from doing any retarded thing he wants?

I asked myself after watching this if I prefered it to the horrendous failure that was the Roland Emmerick Godzilla commonly refered to by the losers only as “GINO” and as much as I hated that movie I’d rather watch it for no other reason than the fact that it leaves me with a lot more time when I’m done with it. This movie wasn’t just boring. It was annoying and painfull to sit through.

Don’t see it. Don’t encourage him. In fact just stop seeing his movies alltogether until he can start keeping things under about 2 hours like normal people do.

Everyone’s favorite japanese animation house has released a trailer for their next movie.
The Legend Of Earthsea
Its a film based on the fantasy series by Ursula K. Le Guin. Theres not a lick of english in the trailer, but you can at least watch it. Probably be another year before we see it in the states.

Sideshow has announced their exclusive for the San Diego Comic Con. The exclusive will be a 12 inch Darth Vader just after he turns to the dark side. He features ‘Sith eyes’ (they’re yellow!), a ‘unique lava droid base’, and exclusive packaging. Supplies will be limited to 6000.

Preorders for convention attendees begins April 27th at 10AM, while preorders for non-attendees starts at 10AM the next day.

He-man.org has finally announced the summer convention exclusives from NECA and the Four Horsemen. I’ll just cut to the chase because I’ve been pretty eager to know what they were.

First up features a return of the mini-bust line. An exclusive 3-pack of brand new mini-busts will be offered. The set includes Mekanek, Man-at-Arms, and Teela.

  

The second exclusive (and the one I’m far more stoked about) is a mini-statue (staction) of Evil-Lyn in her classic colors of yellow and blue. It should be noted that this isn’t just a statue of the action figure that came out quite a while (and was short packed so it costs a fortune to find one now! >_< ), but instead a new sculpt. It features a shard of the Crystal of Darkness hanging around her neck as seen in the first volume of the modern comic from MVCreations.

 

The Cartoons of Robert Smigel finally get a best-of special on April 29 on Saturday Night Live. In addition to showcasing memorable “TV Funhouse” shorts from the past, the special will also include new segments featuring Ace & Gary the Ambiguously Gay Duo as voiced by Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrel.
This is long over due. Even when the lamest hosts and worst skits derail SNL, any show with a cartoon is worth watching. I’m recording this one.