Maximum Letdown: Captain Planet (NES)

Remember that TV show Captain Planet? Created by Ted Turner in the early 90s, it starred a group of kids known as the planeteers who had special rings based upon the 5 elements. By putting their rings together, they summon a blue-skinned superhero known as Captain Planet who battled pollution. It was basically one big environmental PSA in animated form. Surprisingly, it was enjoyable, and it’s themes resonated well with audiences both old and young. Not only did it handle environmental issues, it dealt with heavier subject matter such as racism, drugs, and even HIV (and this was the first children’s program to deal with HIV too). It lasted 6 seasons, and contained celebrity voices such as Whoopi Goldberg, Sting, and Meg Ryan. Of course the obligatory video game tie-in followed. While the TV show was cool, it’s too bad we can’t say the same thing about the game.

Basically you take control of Captain Planet and the Planeteers throughout 5 levels. Each level has 2 parts. In the first, you pilot a vehicle in some horrible R-type clone as you try to rescue baby seals or some other task. In the second part, you take control of Captain Planet as you make your way through the enemy’s hideout. The main problem is that none of the mechanics work in a way that would make the game playable. In the vehicle sections, my powers are tied to my health, and I have to switch between them often just to do mundane tasks such as shoot, or complete whatever task I have to do. You’ll also have to juggle around powers in the on-foot segments as well. The music is so bad that I literally got a headache while playing it, and the difficulty is so high I couldn’t even make it past the first level.

While opinions are mixed about the show, playing this game will make even the biggest supporter of Greenpeace put in money for Keystone XL pipeline. The power is your my ass.