White House responds to petition for Death Star

Not long ago a petition was created on the ‘We The People’ site setup by the White House to garner suggestions for legislation and direction in the governing over the nation. Essentially this site was created to help give constituents a further influence in their own government. Any petition garnering greater than 25,000 signatures will guarantee an official White House response. The petition in question was to secure funding for and being construction of a Death Star.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense

Thanks to the viral nature of a request like this, it took very little time for the petition to receive sufficient signatures for an official White House reponse. That response has been posted with plenty of Star Wars references to make it even better.

Continue on, dear reader, for the official White House response, Darth Vader response and DeathStarPR response.

Official response as written by Paul Shawcross, chief of the science and space branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget:

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here’s how) and you’ll notice something already floating in the sky — that’s no Moon, it’s a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that’s helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts — American, Russian, and Canadian — living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We’ve also got two robot science labs — one wielding a laser — roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA’s Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo — and soon, crew — to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don’t have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country’s future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”

Darth Vader’s twitter response:

A serious mistake, Mr. President. You can never have enough planet-sized lasers – http://nbcnews.to/WZqSvf #starwars

DeathStarPR’s twitter response:

@NASA Until you put the laser and the space station together and start blowing up planets, you’re not doing enough Science.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that we live in exciting times, but its really true!