Powet Top 5 – Top 5 Battle Butlers

Welcome to the Powet Top 5, where we explore the top (and bottom) 5 items we think are relevant to any of a variety of topics that span the imagination. Sit back, read, and respond.

Let’s face it, having a servant must be an awesome thing. They clean up after you, prepare your daily routine, fix you whatever you want to eat and drive you around – amongst a whole plethora of other duties. They are your right-hand man. (or woman, if we want to be politically correct)

Then there are the servants that not only fix you dinner and take out the trash, but the type that REALLY take out the trash. They do everything from help you combat colds to combat the forces of hell. They may have been soldiers in their former lives, or are just very dedicated to making sure every possible need of their masters is met; even those that require a good helping of regular asskicking.

There is “effective”, and then there is “combat effective”. These guys take up both titles. They will also serve you tea in-between cracking skulls. Would you like some sugar with your lumps?

Norman Burg – The Big O
This dutiful butler of Roger Smith is truly a man of many talents. Aside from duties befitting a butler of a house as well as being a fine chef who makes it a point to keep hot food available for Roger no matter what time his employer’s arrival home, Norman also acts as a one-man defense system! Don’t believe me? He’s quite handy with a machine gun and drives a motorcycle with a rocket launcher in the side car. (He even sports a trooper’s helmet whilst riding, in grand style)

Norman acts as a fatherly figure to both Roger and the android maid, Dorothy, and always manages to be around to dole out wise words with a hot bowl of soup. He takes his job so seriously, not even a building standing in his way during a fire-fight can prevent him from busting through it in order to hastily grabbing the dry-cleaning. (Just don’t remind him about his pay rate, since Roger always seems to get out of telling poor Norman what his salary is, exactly.)

Walter C. Dornez – Hellsing
Walter is a man of class and taste, working for the Hellsing family for two generations and doing a bang-up job of it. He caters to his employer, Intregra Hellsing, with all the charm of a good english gentleman – from making sure her brand of cigars is always in stock to keeping the weaponry polished and working, and even being the resident chauffeur.

Then you realize he was a special soldier back in WWII with the nickname “Angel of Death” who acted as a trashman alongside a girlish version of Alucard, and basically could mince anything in his path with his razor wire. Even in his 60’s, Walter has shown that he has not slowed down since the prime of his life – still very nimble and very able to turn vampire freaks into bloody confetti and can keep up with the likes of vampires Alucard and Seras in terms of taking down supernatural threats. All in the name of service.

Owen Burnett – Gargoyles
On the outside, Owen seems like he’s the perfect wingman to the suave billionaire-strategist David Xanatos. Not only does he act as Xanatos’s personal assistant in all matters of business and state affairs, Owen also manages to do a good deal of damage control when it comes to the Gargoyles and many of Xanatos’s other clever dealings. Ever the calm and collected individual, it seems that next to nothing ever phases Owen at all – even having his arm turn to solid stone as a result of a test to one his employer’s clever immortality schemes. Truly, Own Burnett is the best companion a businessman could ask for.

And then later in the series you realize that that was exactly what Xanatos has wanted. In true to his trickster nature, the fey Puck presented himself to Xanatos in order to amuse himself, and gave the billionaire a choice – one wish or eternal servitude from Puck’s studious alter-ego Owen. Xanatos chose Owen (much to Puck interest), and has been working as Xanatos’s confident every since. From acting as bodyguard to defending the castle from magical onslaught, Owen is the Swiss army-knife of personal assistants.

Edwin Jarvis – The Avengers
Being the butler for such an iconic group of heroes such as the Avengers and having to deal with constant attacks, kidnappings, and threat of death on a daily basis would qualify anyone automatically for be pretty badass. However, Jarvis has a lot more to his resume than that. He started as Royal Canadian Airforce fighting for Britain during WWII against Nazi’s as a young boy. He’s been with the Avengers since before they were the Avengers, being a young Butler to Howard and Maria Stark, and then to their son Tony – a tenure that not even Captain America can boast having. He’s saved members of the team several times due to quick-thinking, and taken several brutal beatings at the hands of some of the Avengers deadliest foes. And yet, he always comes back, ready to serve breakfast and give a pep-talk to whomever needs it.

The only possible thing that could impede Jarvis from his duties was being replaced for an unknown amount of time by a Skull impersonator (which he was eventually freed from), and Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers (he didn’t tolerate working for a psychopath with delusions of grandeur)

Alfred Pennyworth – Batman
Does there really need to be a explanation as to why Alfred is one of the most iconic and badass of butlers? “Is butler to Batman. Done.”, and I could end right there and it’d say pretty much all that needs to be said.

However, there is of course more to Alfred Pennyworth that really cements his importance to Batman and his legacy.

Alfred’s had many different modifications to his history. Pre-Crisis had Alfred start his butler duties when Bruce had already become Batman with Dick Grayson already Robin, and Alfred discovering who they were and being allowed into their secret double-lives. Post-Crisis however had Alfred as a butler to Thomas and Martha Wayne when Bruce was a child and eventually helped Bruce establish his career as Batman later after his parent’s deaths. Certain iterations have Alfred as a retired British intelligence officer and actor, but Post-Crisis through to modern day Alfred has him knowing a wide variety of skills such as first aid and minor surgical procedures (having much experience patching Bruce up from his nightly patrols and scuffles), hand-to-hand combat experience (he’s been unsuccessfully kidnapped several times), firearms training (the only time Bruce is ok with gun-use is when Alfred brandishes his favored shotgun), and some espionage (he’s used his actor skills in disguises to help Batman out more than once in his earlier days). He also plays the most important role of father-figure to not only Bruce himself, but also a parental figure to the entire Bat Family (Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, and even Damian).

Whichever way you slice it, Alfred’s most important role is being the true soul of the Bat Clan.

Honorable Mention: Sebastian Michaelis – Black Butler
Honestly, Sebastian should rightfully be on this list. Able to bake perfect pastries, create gourmet meals, fight off the mafia and keep his young master Ceil from both mundane and supernatural threats. The only thing that kept him off the list, really, was the fact he’s a demon and can pretty much snap his fingers and be able to do the impossible. It’s kind of cheating, really, when the above men needed years of experience to get as good as they are. (with the exception of Owen, but he’s magically bound to his complete human persona and has been shown to not be perfect)

So what do you think? What are your favorite badass battle butlers?